The American Bear



Jonah Goldberg.

Jonah Goldberg is stupid. Really stupid. Can’t tie his shoes stupid. Top commenter at a newspaper website stupid. After decades of scientific research, Thers wrote a song describing the thought patterns of the Goldberg brain.

Much of what he writes takes the form of “Yeah, but liberals are the REAL [racists, warmongers, authoritarians, liars, misogynists, homophobes, etc].” The culmination of this particular intellectual journey was the publication of his book Liberal Fascism, which amazingly is only the second best book titled Liberal Fascism ever published. The first best book titled Liberal Fascism was written by The Editors. The subtitle of Goldberg’s book evolved over time, over its long journey from conception to publication, from “The Totalitarian Temptation from Mussolini to Hillary Clinton” to “The Totalitarian Temptation from Hegel to Whole Foods” and then, finally, to “The Secret History of the American Left, From Mussolini to the Politics of Meaning.” But whatever. Amusingly, he took this little project quite seriously, not seeing it as the bit of agitprop his editors presumably did, thinking he crafted “a very serious, thoughtful, argument that has never been made in such detail or with such care” that liberals are the real fascists, so neener neener suck on that libtards! Such care that it took him a really…long….time… to make it. And then he put a smiley face with a Hitler mustache on the cover.