The American Bear

Sunshine/Lollipops

elledark:

New Threat From Iran - Breaking News
Sources close to the American government tonight confirmed that they have uncovered an Iranian plot to develop a death-ray powered by pixie-dust with which they plan to assassinate Santa Claus and all his elves.
Responding to the news, leading Israeli politicians have called once again for pre-emptive strikes against Iran’s pixie-dust plants saying failure to act now may result not only in no presents for anyone this Christmas but also the annihilation by a power-mad Iran of the tooth-fairy and garden gnomes too.
Political pundits at Fox News and other respected organs of America’s free media agree unanimously that this latest development reinforces the need for urgent military action against Iran and makes war almost inevitable.

elledark:

New Threat From Iran - Breaking News

Sources close to the American government tonight confirmed that they have uncovered an Iranian plot to develop a death-ray powered by pixie-dust with which they plan to assassinate Santa Claus and all his elves.

Responding to the news, leading Israeli politicians have called once again for pre-emptive strikes against Iran’s pixie-dust plants saying failure to act now may result not only in no presents for anyone this Christmas but also the annihilation by a power-mad Iran of the tooth-fairy and garden gnomes too.

Political pundits at Fox News and other respected organs of America’s free media agree unanimously that this latest development reinforces the need for urgent military action against Iran and makes war almost inevitable.

From David Rees: the Get Your War On series, or One of the Ways The American Bear Survived the Post-9/11 Jingo.

I was freshly 27 on 9/11 and quite surprised at the stench of militarist chum the media was putting in the water. Mr. Rees captured the essence of the mood at the time, namely, nonsense, lies, and irrationality.

These particular comics are the first in the series. David Rees released a set of comics every week from the start of Operation “Enduring Freedom” until the end of King George II’s presidency.

P.S. Voltron shows up somewhere in the middle of the series.

(Source: theamericanbear)

Ever since I was a kid I dreamed of joining the Army. So as soon as I could, I went down to my local recruiter and enlisted, knowing full well that I’d probably be sent to Afghanistan. Now, with my first deployment less than a week away, there’s only one thing on my mind: how incredibly proud I’ll be to fight for my country, experience crippling psychological trauma, wait indefinitely for the proper health care, and then eventually become so depressed and mentally ill that I commit suicide. It’s what I’ve always known I was born to do.

It Would Be An Honor To Serve My Country, Return With PTSD, Sit On A Mental Health Care Waitlist, Then Kill Myself | The Onion

The most honest assessment of the current state of military and veterans affairs that you’ll find in any publication.

HORNY 2012

msnbc:

A co-founder of the group behind the “KONY 2012” video on alleged atrocities by an African warlord has been arrested for being drunk in public and masturbating, police say.

(via genericlatino)

Iran Worried U.S. Might Be Building 8,500th Nuclear Weapon

TEHRAN—Amidst mounting geopolitical tensions, Iranian officials said Wednesday they were increasingly concerned about the United States of America’s uranium-enrichment program, fearing the Western nation may soon be capable of producing its 8,500th nuclear weapon. “Our intelligence estimates indicate that, if it is allowed to progress with its aggressive nuclear program, the United States may soon possess its 8,500th atomic weapon capable of reaching Iran,” said Iranian foreign minister Ali Akbar Salehi, adding that Americans have the fuel, the facilities, and ”everything they need” to manufacture even more weapons-grade fissile material. ”Obviously, the prospect of this happening is very distressing to Iran and all countries like Iran. After all, the United States is a volatile nation that’s proven it needs little provocation to attack anyone anywhere in the world whom it perceives to be a threat.” Iranian intelligence experts also warned of the very real, and very frightening, possibility of the U.S. providing weapons and resources to a rogue third-party state such as Israel.